Let me start this post off by saying that I am a hopeless romantic. It should come as no surprise really, if you’ve seen the things I’ve posted here, but also considering that I am in fact, a girl. A girl growing up in a society where finding the perfect guy who will come into my life when I least expect it, and sweep me off my feet, is a very high goal on the list of life’s to do list. Its been engrained in my brain ever since I can remember. Disney promotes it, my not-so-guilty guilty pleasure Rom-Com movies show it, and you can even find it in literature at any book store. Even though I’m old enough to see through this brainwashing, I don’t care, because they’ve made it look so good that, to me, it would seem crazy not to try and give it an honest shot.
This being said, I have a bit of a bone to pick. For my whole life all I’ve ever really wanted was to find a boyfriend. The idea of having someone who cared about me the same way I cared about them was magical. it seemed like so much fun to have someone who understood you in a way no one else could, and laughed at all your not-so-funny jokes. Some might say, “but that’s what a best friend is for,” but I say, it’s not the same. Why? Because you want someone you can hold hands with, who you can kiss, and cuddle with. You want that special someone, even if you don’t know what that “special” is — you’ll know when you find it. I still want this, I do, but as I’ve gotten older, gotten some real perspective, I’ve come to realize a few things about life and love.
All my friends continue to talk about how they want a boyfriend, and since we’re in college this is the time to start looking, because “a lot of people find their husbands in college”, and “I want to be married by the time I’m 25,” or 27 or whatever the magic number may be. And for a while I thought that way too, but then I realized something: I’m 20.
I’m not a teenager anymore but that doesn’t mean that I’m not young. I was dreading my 20th birthday. I couldn’t fathom the idea of not being a teenager anymore. To me, being 20 meant I had to actually get serious about life, and my future, and I couldn’t blame anymore of my dumb mistakes on the fact that I was kid, because I wasn’t anymore. But then I remembered how people always talk about their 20s being the best times of their lives, and I experienced something similar to a revelation…sort of.
Your 20s are suppose to be fun; they’re suppose to be exciting! You’ve reached a time in your life where the world takes you serious enough to allow—and expects—you to do and say things you might not have gotten away with when you were younger. It’s a new kind of freedom that shouldn’t be immediately surrendered just to find some guy. When I realized this, the idea of finding a boyfriend/soulmate right now seemed ludicrous. Who would want a boyfriend at a time like this?!
Boyfriends are nice I’m sure, (I wouldn’t know, because I suffer from crippling social anxiety when I’m around boys I like, but that’s a personal issue) but they can also tie you down. I’m young, I don’t want to think about finding the perfect guy, or marriage. I want to go out, have fun and live my life. Having a boyfriend would just hold me back. I want to travel the world and drink every night. I want to dance my heart out and hookup with random guys. I want to do what I want when I want to do it, and worrying about another person, or looking for Mr. Right would just distract me. I can worry about getting married when I’m 30.
So I’ve stopped looking. And to all those girls out there who are my age looking for a boy to call your significant other — stop. Just have fun and live your life. I know you’ve heard it before, BUT finding that special someone does really happen when you least expect it, and when would you least expect it more, then when you’re having the time of your life dancing on a bar in Ireland…or whatever your ideal “I’m having the time of my life” scene looks like.
I’m not condoning recklessness and stupidity; I’m just saying, don’t let reaching your 20s be an end all be all for yourself like I once did.